From childhood, many boys hear the phrase, “Man up, be a man.” These words plant the seed of expectation, making boys believe they must be confident, strong providers.
I’ve seen countless instances where a boy, even as young as a child, is immediately questioned if he starts to cry: “Why does he cry like a girl?”
Men are often judged for expressing emotions, crying, or speaking about their feelings, while it seems easier for women to do these things. Because of this, men often try to suppress their emotions and don’t express themselves much. Many of you might relate to how men don’t share or express too much.
I’m not making this up, and I’m not saying this just because everyone says so. There is a lot of research that suggests men are less likely to seek therapy compared to women because they have to open up in therapy.
But here’s the trick: Although we talk a lot about how men aren’t expressive, is this really their true nature? Or is it a shield men use to appear strong?
Research shows that men experience emotions at the same level that women do, but they don’t show their emotions much because it might harm their perceived masculinity.
Some might ask, “What’s the problem with being this way?” Well, there is a problem. Not expressing what we feel and not talking to someone about our problems or worries can lead to depression and stress.
In fact, people who talk about their feelings, emotions, or problems tend to do better than those who don’t. Bottling up emotions is detrimental to both physical and mental health.
So, how can men start to be vulnerable and express emotions?
It’s easy to say that men should speak out, be expressive, and talk about their feelings. But it’s incredibly challenging to change our character overnight and become more expressive. It might even take years to change.
That’s where I want to introduce journaling as a very effective tool.
I’ve never been a fan of the notion that guys should constantly be in this tough, go-getter mode—always hustling, always protecting, always achieving. I mean, aren’t we all a mix of different energies? You’ve got your masculine side and your feminine side, like yin and yang. And Journaling can actually be a great way for guys to tap into that softer, more introspective side.
I don’t mean to say that men should hide their emotions and thoughts behind a journal. But journaling is a way to express emotions safely. It’s not just for men; many women and people of other genders journal because it’s a safe space with zero judgment, where they feel comfortable expressing their true nature. It’s not easy for anyone to be an open book to someone else, and that’s where journaling can come in.
Journaling offers a private, non-judgmental space for men to express their thoughts and feelings. It can be a first step toward opening up more, even if it’s just to themselves.
Over time, this practice can help men become more comfortable with their emotions and possibly share them with others. It’s about creating a safe outlet for expression, which is crucial for mental health.
Benefits of Journaling for Men
Before we dive into the how-to, let’s talk about why journaling is so beneficial, especially for men. Men often grow up with the expectation to be strong, stoic, and unemotional. This societal pressure can make it difficult to express what you’re feeling.
But journaling offers a multitude of benefits, and here are some key ones:
Boosting your emotional well-being:
When you start to write down what you are feeling and try to delve deep by questioning why you feel that way, it can alleviate the weight from your chest. Though this doesn’t solve the difficult emotions you might feel immediately, it can make those emotions feel lighter.
It gives a sense of relief and can provide clarity around your thoughts and emotions, preventing bottled-up emotions from leading to depression or anxiety.
Becoming your Best Self:
Understanding your feelings and emotions can often reveal underlying core issues like insecurity.
Being in touch with our emotions regularly can help us identify these core issues and enable us to take action to solve them; otherwise, they’ll keep resurfacing endlessly.
Building your Confidence:
While we can consume countless videos or articles teaching us how to be confident, true confidence stems from within.
When you know yourself, your needs, your values, that’s when true confidence emerges, and this confidence will help you achieve your goals with ease.
Mastering Decision-Making:
In challenging situations, making decisions becomes even more challenging with countless thoughts in the mind. Writing down these thoughts along with a pros and cons list, and reasoning out options on paper, can facilitate better decision-making.
Supercharge your Productivity:
When you write down your goals and sort out your to-do list in a journal, it helps you see exactly what you want to achieve and how to get there. This makes managing your time a whole lot easier.
Plus, when you regularly write about what you’ve been through and what you’ve learned, you keep getting better and figuring out what works best for you.
As Abraham Lincoln said, “Give me six hours to chop down a tree, and I will spend the first four sharpening the ax.” Journaling is similar to that preparation phase, helping in better navigation through life’s challenges.
How to Journal for Men: Tips and Tricks to Start Expressing Emotions in a Journal
There are many articles and blogs out there on how to journal, but I’ve noticed that it’s not always easy for guys to just start pouring their hearts out as soon as they open a journal. So, in this post, I’m going to break down some practical tips and tricks to help men get the most out of journaling.
Start Small and Simple
Short Entries: Begin with just a few sentences each day. Write about how your day went or what you’re thinking about.
Bullet Points: Use bullet points if writing full sentences feels daunting. Jot down quick thoughts or feelings.
Use Journal Prompts
Guided Prompts: Use prompts to get started. For example, “What made me happy today?” or “What am I worried about?”
Reflection Questions: Ask yourself reflective questions like, “How did I handle a tough situation today?” or “What am I grateful for?”
Be Honest and Authentic
No Filter: Remember, this is your private space. Write honestly about what you’re feeling, even if it’s uncomfortable.
No Judgment: Don’t judge your feelings or thoughts. Accept them as they are.
Write About Specific Experiences
Detail Specific Events: Write about specific events or interactions that impacted you. Describe how you felt and why.
Focus on Emotions: Try to identify and articulate your emotions. Did you feel happy, sad, frustrated, or relieved? Why?
Incorporate Gratitude
Daily Gratitude: Each day, write down three things you’re grateful for. This practice can shift your focus to positive aspects of your life.
Gratitude Letters: Occasionally, write a letter to someone (even if you don’t send it) expressing your gratitude.
Set a Routine
Consistency: Choose a regular time each day to journal. Whether it’s in the morning or before bed, consistency helps build the habit.
Environment: Find a quiet, comfortable place where you can write without interruptions.
Use Technology if Needed
Digital Journals: If writing by hand feels cumbersome, use a digital journal or app. Apps like Day One or Journey can make journaling more accessible.
Voice Notes: Record voice notes if you find it easier to speak than to write. Transcribe them later if you prefer.
Reflect and Review
Look Back: Periodically review your journal entries. Reflect on your progress, recurring themes, and growth.
Celebrate Progress: Acknowledge your progress in becoming more expressive and understanding your emotions.
Example Journal Prompts for Men to Get Started
- What am I feeling right now?
- What’s something that bothered me today? Why?
- Describe a moment of joy I experienced recently.
- What’s a challenge I’m currently facing? How can I approach it?
- What’s one thing I’m grateful for today?
I’m not sure how many men already journal, but if you don’t, I urge you to start this practice today. The benefits are numerous and impactful. I’ve seen firsthand how transformative it can be—not only for my friends but also in my own life. This isn’t just theory; it’s practical, actionable advice that works. So give it a try, and experience the benefits for yourself.
And to men out there, drop a comment below and share your experience after giving journaling a try. Looking forward to hearing from you!
